Am I too mean? Too confrontational and honest? Too fat? Too black? Maybe I'm not enough of something. Well, that's too bad, because I'm not looking to add any character traits right now, I'm busy sorting out the ones I already have.
So I'm going to give this one more go and then I'm going to delete your number and stop talking to you, because what I don't need right now is a one-way crush and I certainly don't need any more friends. I currently have more friends than I can handle, and I don't want one of those friends that I could easily imagine myself dating. That I often imagine myself dating. I don't need to hang out at your apartment, I don't need you to talk on your cell while I silently think of things I might do to you if you were naked.
I'm going to do what you do and ask my friends to set me up with someone; only I hope my someone isn't a nice guy. I want my social horizons to expand to include shallow and temporary connections with those who, gasp, actually find me more attractive than whichever all the lovely, skinny, more agreeable female that accompany me.
This is one of those wonderful quests with no resolution because he or she doesn't exist. I mean, I'm often pretty sure that I'm pretty awesome, but how can I be sure if there isn't a second, more objective party to agree with me?
Become that second party and win a package of prizes that exceeds your average tax return.
Incidentally, I've recently re-acknowledged that I am meanest to the people I like the most. This is a defense mechanism to ward off the inevitable onslaught of disappointment. I suggest we both deal with it.
